Thank you, Sealey

As I write this, there is a little voice in the back of my head saying "You're crazy, you're crazy, you're crazy..." - it's pretty constant, to be honest. 

At the same time, another voice is saying "This was meant to be, this was meant to be, this was meant to be...".

Losing Sealey was devastating - after advocating for him for almost 5 years, raising $$ for his adoption grant, and finally committing to adopt him, losing him was a blow like no other.  

When we took this photo of his picture at Mount Rushmore last month, the only thought in my mind was that NEXT time we'd be there, he would be with us, and we could take a photo of HIM at Mount Rushmore.

That will never happen.

A couple of days before we found out we'd lost him, a small photo fob of him that my husband carried on his keys fell off - just broke and dropped off.

A couple of days before we found out we'd lost him, someone - we don't know who - donated $2500 to our adoption grant.

A couple of days before we found out we'd lost him, we received our USCIS approval - our own immigration department, having reviewed our home study and application, told us that we were allowed to adopt from Sealey's country.

We decided early on in the process that if, for one reason or another, we couldn't bring Sealey home, we would carry on.

So we chose Vijay.

The kicker, though - was that we found out we were approved to adopt TWO children.

When we were planning on adopting Sealey, we never even considered bringing home two children - we figured that Sealey's needs would be enough for us to cope with.

However, as we have learned, things don't always go to plan.

Sealey had other plans.

We found out that there were several other children available for adoption living in the same institution as Vijay. 

We found out that the additional facilitation fees for another child from the same institution is $2500 - which is, if you recall, the exact amount we had donated to our adoption grant on the day we received our USCIS approval.

We discussed the possibility of bring Vijay home, getting him stable and settled, then going back for another.

People do it. I have followed countless families who go back - again and again - to save more children - to give more children the love of a family.

The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized that I couldn't do it.

I couldn't go through the paperwork, the waiting, the traveling, the fundraising again - I was thinking of ME, I was being totally selfish - but I knew, deep down, that I just couldn't do it.

However.

I also couldn't travel all that way three times - see the institution - smell the smells - hear the sounds - see the kids - and leave with only one.

SO - we talked.

COULD we make room for one more ?

SHOULD we make room for one more ?

We were never planning on adopting until, out of the blue, my husband said the now famous words - "Why don't WE adopt him ?"

Because of Sealey, VIJAY will have a family.

Also - because of Sealey....

ATHENS will have a family !!!

Because of Sealey, we are bringing home TWO 10 year old boys - they are just 3 months apart in age - both have cerebral palsy - and both will have a mommy, a daddy, and a big brother.

Thank you, Sealey.

Sealey's Legacy

This is not the post I ever wanted to be writing, but here I am anyway.

We were too late.

Sealey just couldn't hang on any longer, and sadly he passed away before we could bring him home.

Sealey, who I advocated for for years, who we finally realized was our son, took his last breath alone, in an institution, not knowing how much he was loved.

Sealey.

We only knew him in pictures, but in my mind I have held him, and fed him, rocked him and comforted him, bathed him and wrapped him in a big fluffy towel.

He was - he is - my son.

I won't write here my feelings about what should have been, what kind of life he could have led - I'll save that for another day.

Today - today I want to celebrate the miracle that Sealey has created.

If you know our story, you know we never intended to adopt - if you don't know our story, you can go HERE to read it.

So - what next ?

When we first started the adoption process, we did discuss the possibility of not bringing Sealey home, for one reason or another.  Something as simple as a paperwork mix up in his country could have rendered him unadoptable - so we talked about whether we would go ahead and adopt someone else.

The answer was yes.

So - when we heard the news, we knew what we would do.

How do you pick a child, when it means NOT picking all of the others ??

It was quite the process.

I looked at every single boy between the ages of 6 and 14 listed on Reece's Rainbow as being available for adoption.

I chose 15 boys who I thought were possibilities.

I saved their pictures, and then showed them to my husband and son.

Separately, they looked at the photos, and each chose 5 boys who they thought could be son and brother.

I then compared their lists - and amazingly, THREE boys were on both lists !

This led to a long discussion about each of the 3 - and, eventually, we did it.

We chose our new son.

We have even seen a video of him HERE !!

"Vijay" is 10 years old - a little younger than Sealey - but he is living in a similar institution.  

Vijay also has cerebral palsy, but it doesn't look like he has deteriorated as much as Sealey did - yet.

Hopefully, by the end of the summer, he will be home with us, and can start getting all the therapies, medical care, and education that he so desperately needs !!!

We never chose to adopt Sealey - HE chose us.

Thanks to Sealey - WE now choose Vijay.

Thank you, Sealey.

Fly high, son.